[Verse 1]
we walked those crooked streets at night, dear April
blue-eyed universe in second-hand starlight
your laughter bent the neon on the river
my demons fell asleep in your reflection for a while
I checked my watch like I was timing my own fracture
you begged for just one more hour off the grid
I said “the pills are waiting back at home, I have to”
but I stayed, and let the chemistry unlid
you said I looked so different in the window
a stranger wearing pieces of my face
you kissed the glitch that flickered in my shadow
I fed the engine that would burn you out of place
[Pre-Chorus]
and every dose I skipped
pulled me further through the veil
I traded all your warmth
for the circuitry of hell
[Chorus]
my illusion in April – you were real, I was the lie
drowned your voice in overdrive, I let Daniel drive
my illusion in April – I was blind, you were the sight
I chose the glitch inside my skull
and shut you out of my night
[Verse 2]
the phone rang like a sentence in the dark room
your halo bleeding through a broken speaker cone
you asked me why I always had to vanish
why our moments were imprisoned in the phone
I wore that cold, sarcastic armor like a dagger
I cut your every word before it could reach me
you said “you’re too blind to see what’s happening”
I said “you don’t exist for me” and set the tyrant free
in my head, the Red Mirror started screaming
showed you as a threat to my crusade
jealousy, pity, every twisted misinterpretation
fed the Daniel in my brain, the beast I’d let invade
[Pre-Chorus]
and every truth you spoke
hit the static in my veins
I turned your love to noise
to justify my pain
[Chorus]
my illusion in April – you were real, I was the lie
drowned your voice in overdrive, I let Daniel drive
my illusion in April – I was blind, you were the sight
I chose the glitch inside my skull
and shut you out of my night
my illusion in April – I rewrote you as my chain
blamed your hands for holding me
while I worshipped my own pain
my illusion in April – now I see what I let die
you were never the illusion
I was just a fractured eye
[Verse 3]
interrogation lights behind my eyelids
detective questions echo in my veins
“tell me why you had to breach reality”
I answer with the ruins of your name
dear April, in the autopsy of my conscience
I see your tears dissected under glass
I see myself, that jester of self-sabotage
signing contracts with the shadows of my past
I traded all your rivers for sewers in the city
hunted ghosts and called it righteous war
you begged me to come back to solid ground
I chose the labyrinth and slammed the exit door
[Bridge – Spoken / Half-Sung]
I hated mirrors
’cause they showed me what you saw
a boy who’d rather crown his madness
than admit he was in awe
I loved you, but I loved the wound
a little deeper still
I fed the glitch, I starved the truth
and called it “iron will”
I said you don’t exist for me
to make you walk away
now you’re the only proof I had
that I was real one day
[screaming]
now you’re the only proof I had
that I was real one day
[whispering]
now you’re the only proof I had
that I was real one day